This is a sensitive topic to write about, but I feel that it’s important to recognize that many people suffer from some type of depression. I was diagnosed with depression about five years ago when I was 19. At the time I was dealing with a lot of stress from college and family issues. So my Mom finally convinced me to talk to my Doctor about the stressors in my life. After talking with her, I agreed to try taking Sertraline which is a generic form of Zoloft. Unfortunately, I had been suffering from depression since I was around 13 years old. I’m not going to go into detail about what was going on in my life that caused my depression because I want this post to focus on what depression actually feels like and how it affects the aspects of life.
Depression does indeed affect many aspects of your life. In my experiences I’ve noticed that depression affects my social needs, my likes, and my attitude. Activities that I normally love lose their appeal, a lot of times I found that I would start something and then almost immediately lose interest. There would be other times I would just want to sleep all day long. Fortunately, I was able to force myself out of bed because I knew it wasn’t feasible to stay in bed all day. My attitude also changed drastically. I had low self-esteem. I hated the way I looked and I hated my situation in life. As a result I closed myself away from family and friends. There was no need for me to talk to anyone because I didn’t want to.
The feelings of sadness do envelop you. It’s as though the sun leaves your life. Everything loses its color. The world is just draped in different shades of gray. It’s hard to keep your eyes dry. Tears always seem to come at any time whether you want them to or not.
Being on medication has helped me. Currently I take a very small dosage of Sertraline. I have noticed a difference in the way a feel, but I’m not completely cured; if that’s the correct term. However, my biggest test came this past March. On March 11, 2014 I lost my best friend. My 13 year old Golden Retriever passed away. I had him since he was a puppy. We grew up together, played together, and caused trouble together. He was my brother, my best friend, and my protector. Losing was like losing a part of me. I honestly feel as though if I was not on depression medication, the depression that followed my dog’s passing would have been crippling. Yesterday marked three months since he passed away and I still miss him every single day. There is a small ball of depression in the pit of my stomach, but it doesn’t consume me.
For those of us who suffer from depression, finding an outlet will help overcome the pain. If you are one of the millions who suffer from depression please remember this important piece of information. You are not alone. You may feel like there’s no one in this entire world that knows what you’re going through, but that’s the disease tricking you. Everyone has experienced depression in their lives. You are strong enough to conquer your depression.